Femalius
by CyberSerpent
Summary: Oh...my..gawd...my first ever HP fic and I torture poor Draco like this...::sighs:: ok ok, summary. He gets turned into a grl by Ron's charm, and encounters some disabilities along the way...excuse me while I go dip my head in acid. ::trundles off:: ::aud


Disclaimer- I don't own Harry Potter and that is final—though I do wish Draco was mine…::sigh:: User Normal Emily Hu 77 208 2001-09-12T04:29:00Z 2001-11-05T23:45:00Z 3 1716 9786 . 81 19 12017 9.2720 110 

Disclaimer- I don't own Harry Potter and that is final—though I do wish Draco was mine…::sigh::

A/n- My first HP ficcy!  ::Jumps up and down with excitement:: it's what I've started to get interested in—humor!  Draco gets turned into a girl by Ron and so on!  ::sighs and looks at the computer screen, proofreading.  "What have I done to poor Draco?  Tsk tsk."::

Femalius 

"So, Granger," came a swaggering voice from behind Hermione as they walked to Muggle Study—that is, Hermione to Muggle Study and Harry and Ron to Divination.

Ron and Harry whirled around, eyes flashing.

"What do you want, Malfoy?" Ron growled, hand reaching for his robe pocket where his wand was deposited.

"No, Ron!" Hermione cried, her hand darted out to grab his wrist.

Their eyes interlocked for a split second and Ron sighed, his hand now dangling loose at his side.

Harry noticed this exchange of thoughts but uttered no words, and he instead fixed his glare at Draco Malfoy.  "Listen here, Malfoy, we don't want any trouble."

"So go strut your stuff somewhere out there in Azkaban!" Ron spat, eyes ablaze.

Draco's cold blue eyes gave a dangerous flicker and he swept his silvery blonde bangs out of his eyes, drawing himself above Ron, Harry, and Hermione.  "Weasley, I reckon you'd be the first in Azkaban, since when your family goes bankrupt you might need to rob Gringotts."

Ron's hand grabbed his wand and without a second thought he pointed it at Draco and shouted, "_Femalius!" _

With a deafening _THWACK _the hallway filled with yellow smoke.

Hermione coughed and when she got her wind back, she gasped at what she saw: Draco's slick blonde hair was cascading down his shoulders in glimmers of gold and silver, his eyelashes seemed have lengthened, and his chest seemed to have two bumps on it.

Crabbe and Goyle ogled at this change and their jaws very near hit the floor.

"Oh my," Hermione stifled a laugh.

Ron had a triumphant smirk on his face.

"What?" Draco seemed to have not realized the change.  "What's so funny, Granger?" his—erm, her—hand went to the back of her head and as she touched the long hair and held it up to her face…

"_AUGHHHHHH!!!!!!"_

Two professors came hurtling down the hall, alarmed at the scream.  Harry identified them as Prof. McGonagall and Prof. Snape—trouble for sure.

"What _is _this, Mr. Weasley?" Prof. McGonagall accused Ron, glancing pointingly at the wand clutched in his hand.

Ron turned a nasty shade of green and hid the wand behind his back, mumbling, "Nothing, Professor."

Prof. Snape, on the other hand, was getting an undoubtedly biased account of the whole event from Crabbe and Goyle.

"It has come to my understanding that Mr. Ronald Weasley illegally used a Femalius Charm on Mr. Draco Malfoy and caused him to turn into a woman." Prof. McGonagall declared, her hand on her forehead in utter depression.  "When will you all learn."

Prof. Snape gave a satisfied smile, "I see, and I suppose it will only be fair to deduct about…let's say, ninety points from Gryffindor?"

Prof. McGonagall shot him a disapproving look, "I don't think that's very fair, Severus.  Perhaps it shall be better if we gave him detention instead."

Ron, meanwhile, was shrinking farther and farther down the hallway.  And when he reached the open door of an empty classroom, he darted in and beckoned for Harry and Hermione to follow.  They did.

Meanwhilst, Prof. McGonagall and Prof. Snape argued over the penalty.  It was only then did Draco cry out, "Hey they're gone!"

"What?!" the two professors leapt to attention and began to search the hallway, Snape with a furious air around him.

Draco was touching her long gold ringlets again when she noticed two Ravenclaw fifth-year boys staring at her with a hint of infatuation.

"Ohhh, ick." She murmured, walking up into the boys' restroom.

Once in there, Draco found herself faced with a Hufflepuff first-year, three Slytherin sixth-years, two Ravenclaw third-years, and a Gryffindor fourth-year.  All were male.  All screamed when they saw her.

"What?  _What?!?!" _Draco yelled over the screams.

"A g-girl!" the Hufflepuff shouted, ducking into a stall.

The Ravenclaws started laughing.

The Slytherins identified Draco immediately, "_Malfoy?_  Why are you looking like that?"

The Gryffindor, who was Colin Creevy, picked up his camera and started snapping away, murmuring excitedly, "Slytherin fifth-year girl caught in boys' restroom, what mystifies us is the fact that this is the one and only Draco Malfoy, son of Lucius Malfoy, yes, people, I assure you, _son, _but what we discover is that this certain Draco is a _girl, _indeed!"

"Shut up!" Draco yelled, covering his face, "And stop snapping the stupid camera!"

Colin paid no mind and kept right on flashing the camera in front of the bewildered Draco.  "What caused this change is a mystery to us, though we can ask the headmaster for some resources, yes, very intere—"

Before he can finish his sentence however, the camera was slapped out of his hands by an infuriated Draco, spewing spittle all over the frightened fourth-year by clenching his fist on Colin's robe and hissing in his face, "I said, '_Stop snapping the stupid camera!' _What part of that didn't you UNDERSTAND?!?!" 

Colin shriveled and simpered, "N-nothing, ma'am—er, sir!" 

"Glad you know it." Draco let go of his robe and took the camera.  She ripped open the back of it and exposed the film to daylight.

"_Nooooo!" _Colin howled, watching as all his hard work went to dust.

Draco gave a smug grin and closed the camera, "My apologies, Creevy." With that she dashed off, flicking her golden blonde hair back in a laugh.

As Draco went to her next period, Transfiguration with Ravenclaw, she noticed a few of the Ravenclaw guys checking her out.  It gave a superior feeling, somehow, and she held her head up high and chest out.  Once again she noticed the strange bumps on her chest and noticed how uncomfortable it was when you ran.  _How can girls live with this? _She thought bitterly as she bumped into Pansy Parkinson.

"Draco!" Pansy gasped, hands covering her mouth, "I-I heard the rumors, I didn't believe it, but, oh my goodness, oh oh oh!" with a dry sob she tore away from her and ran away into Millicent Bulstrode, who shot a disgusted look at Draco.

Draco gave a weak, "B-but…" and reached out for Pansy, but she was sheltered underneath Millicent's giant arms and she glared at him like a low-life mudblood.

And thus she voiced, "You're no better than them mudbloods, Malfoy, in fact, you're _worse!"_

Draco felt fury bubbling inside and resisted the urge to strangle Millicent right then and there.  Instead she simmered down and plopped down at her original desk, fingering her golden locks.  She'll have to find a pair of shears to hack them off later.  But what if when he turned back, he was bald?  No, it was best to leave it as it was, however irritating it might be.

Prof. McGonagall entered the classroom and found Draco at her desk and said to her, "After Transfiguration go straight to Potions where Prof. Snape will give a potion to you to turn back."

Draco heard this and breathed a large sigh of relief.  

Pansy sniffled still.

Draco knocked on the door to the Potions dungeon and Snape's cold voice emitted from behind the door, "Come in."

She did so and winced as Prof. Snape gave a disapproving look to her.

"I have here the Malius Potion, just drink it down and you'll turn back in an hour, give or take a few minutes." Prof. Snape handed Draco a frithing potion which was a nasty greenish-orange color.

"I'm gonna have to drink _that?_" Draco made a face.

"Yes." Prof. Snape pushed the goblet under Draco's nose.

Draco gave a withering look at the professor and downed the potion in a matter of seconds.

It was bitter and foul-tasting.

"Plaaah!" Draco yowled, spitting and hissing just like Mrs. Norris when she comes too near to Fang.

Snape observed this all with a bored look and then ushered Draco out, muttering, "Kids these days, no tolerance." 

Draco glanced at her schedule and realized with a horrible sinking feeling that the next class was Care of Magical Creatures.  She was gonna get laughed out by the big brute and the rest of Gryffindor and possibly even his own house, Slytherin.

"Weasley's gonna get it _good," _Draco vowed as she daintily picked her way thru the crowded corridor, heading for the small corral near where Hagrid's shack was.

"An' fer today we have yun' baby puffskeins." Hagrid proudly presented the little balls of fur.

The girls squealed and rushed forward to pet them.

While Hagrid explained the growth cycle of the puffskeins, the boys all sniggered at Draco, Gryffindor and Slytherin alike.  But one of the Gryffindor girls was looking at her with sympathy, and with a rising horror Draco realized it was the mudblood, Granger.

Draco gave a snarl right back to Hermione, and she looked away immediately, obviously miffed.

As Care of Magical Creatures ended, Draco found herself slowly changing back.  Her hair was considerably shorter by now, and the bumps on her chest was shrinking also.

"Hallejulah," she murmured as she crossed to the Slytherin common room.  "Filth-free," was the password Draco gave as she entered.

"Hey, Malfoy." One of the Slytherin seventh years, a rugged boy named Reg Dawson, stalked towards Draco.  "I heard you got turned into a girl by the Weasley trash.  Shame, but hey…" his eyes strayed over Draco's bust.  "Not a bad figure."

Draco's pale face reddened and she pulled back from the seventh year, and dashed into the boys' dorm.

Crabbe and Goyle were snoring on their beds, taking a "cat"nap, and Draco's bed was empty.

He flung himself on the bed and sighed.  It had been a hard day.

He fingered his now-short hair again.  It was weird, after having it been so long the whole day, and suddenly shrink.  "Oh well," he murmured, and buried his face in his pillow, drifting off to sleep almost immediately.

_~The next morning~_

Draco sat down at his usual seat at the Slytherin table and received approving looks from all his housemates.  They agree that also he looked pretty as a girl, his personality was fit for no one but a guy.

But another surprise but yet to come as Draco's eagle owl dropped red envelope onto his table.

A hush fell across the table.

Draco gulped.

"A…_Howler?" _Pansy whispered in disbelief.

Crabbe said slowly, "Your dad must've sent it."

Goyle nodded.

Draco lifted the envelope with an air of obvious distaste, slitted it, and quickly hurled it to the Gryffindor table.

The Howler burst midway, and Lucius Malfoy's booming voice bellowed throughout the Great Hall, telling Draco that he had "disgraced the family" and "should stay as a a girl as punishment."

Draco hurriedly ran from the Great Hall, hands over ears and face terribly flushed red.

Back at the Gryffindor table, Ron, Harry, and Hermione shared a victory toast.

A/n- …pretty weird, that's all I have to say.  At first it was supposed to be a Ron+Hermione romance but then it just turned out like this because I was obsessing over my baby Dracky-poo ::gets whacked by Draco::.  Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it (yeah right) and review!

Later dayz!

CyberSerpent .~

PS. For a Language Arts assignment at my school, we were supposed to create a Broomstick Manual for 1st years and I called mine "Flying the Malfoy Style" with Draco as the author!  I made it Ron, Harry, and Hermione's schoolbook (similar to Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them) and had them scribble in the margins and such!  It was so much creating it and plus I got 125 out of 100!!!!  (I did extra credit, you were only supposed to do a title page, introduction, how to fly, and broom ad, but I tossed in a "This manual belongs to", afterword, and reviews (hehe, I got quite a lot of good ones from Narcissa, Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Dobby!) and so I got an extra 25 points plus the already 100 A+!!! Mah pride n joy, dat manual is! ::makes victory sign::) Anyone interested in seeing it email me at DigimonGoddess@aol.com! 


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